The days when I worry that Internet slang is moving faster than my ability to keep up with it. “I can’t even,” people say, on Twitter. (It is probably a sign of advancing age that my first thought is always “what? you can’t even what?” before I remember that “I can’t even” actually is a complete sentence in 2014.)
In extreme cases: “I’ve lost the ability to even.”
"I’m going to take a nap," Twitter people announce. Okay, I think, sounds good. I’m in favour of naps. "I am going to nap so hard," they say, at other moments. Okay, sure, still with you. But then last week someone said this: "I am going to take a nap. WITH MY WHOLE FACE."